2002-04-21 Privacy Act

I was reading something over in [info]altparent (which isn’t even close to the community that I wish it was) regarding the privacy of a child. Many people have this idea that children don’t have privacy, that every bit of belonging that the child has is fair game…..I, as usual, completely disagree. I have a standing rule with all my kids, if it’s left out in the open, for all eyes to see, it’s fair game. If it’s tucked away, or even sitting on their dresser, in their own room, it’s none of my freaking business. This goes for anything, notes from classmates, school books, I never “go through” their rooms, AND, if something is left out, say, on the bathroom counter, I NEVER freak out on them for what I find.

So now, there’s a woman, who ransacked her son’s room, finding all sorts of little tidbits of information….yes, he’s tried drugs, yes, he’s tried drinking, yes he wants to have sex……and what does she do? Drags him into counselling. Another parent looking for a quick fix now that it’s a situation she can’t control. Where was she when this kid first started considering these things? Why is it so hard for parents to know their kids from birth? Why do they wait until something “tragic” happens before they decide to get to know what’s running through their kid’s heads.

My kids aren’t angels by any means, but you know, Paul and I are able to pinpoint when there’s any sort of chaos running through their brains. I can tell by the look on their faces, their tone of voice, even their choice of clothing, that there’s something on their mind. And it’s never long before they offer up the problem. I just cannot understand how parents could live with a child, day in and day out, from conception, and not know when there’s a problem.

And now that we’ve figured out that there’s a problem, let’s freak out, go postal on our kids, and drag them into counselling. Let’s fight and argue, and scream our rage at them, let’s see if a therapist can get to know them in a couple of hours, so we can straighten this whole mess out and get back to our normal lives. Right. How do you know there even IS a problem, if you’ve never asked. Maybe there really isn’t a problem, maybe you just need to be more involved, and by that I mean “welcomed”.

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