Note to self *

Karma has just taken a ginormous bite out of my ass.
I hate spiders. I hate spiders with a passion.
Normally, I have respect for all walks of life here on Earth. I consider myself a “steward” of nature. Nurture it, care for it, remember it is a part of me.
Except for spiders.
Most times, I just walk away. And let others deal with the spider. I will avoid a room for an entire day, until I am notified that the spider has been “dealt” with, or has simply gone away.
I’ve come face to face with bears. I’ve come face to face with rattlers. I’ve even had an experience with an alligator that was almost too close for comfort. I stood strong in all of those confrontations, remembering they were a part of the circle of life I believe so strongly in.
Just now, I stomped on a Dock spider.
Fucker was roaming around in the veggie garden.
I went to shut the sprinkler off and there it was, all big and fat and hairy and juicy. And I STOMPED on it.
It was a reaction. I lost my senses. I had no wits about me.
I stomped on it…and about a million baby dock spiders scattered from its back into every corner of the garden.
Fuck my life.



  1. Lisa said,

    May 27, 2010 at 12:00 am

    Oh my gosh! That is so funny, The kind that I really despise are those big mean looking ones that only come out at night…oh and black widows…and brown recluses….and really big house spiders don’t do much for me either. I love garden spiders though, the ones that make patterns in their webs and I like those little jumping spiders.

    • May 27, 2010 at 10:56 pm

      I don’t generally get bothered by the garden spiders, until I bend down to pick out a weed and find my face enveloped by a web. That’s when you see me do a bizarre, epileptic squirrly dance all about the yard. But this one, ugh, this one was one of those big mean looking things, and now thanks to my panic, I have a million of its offspring to look forward too…lol

  2. mshamanm said,

    May 27, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    While I understand your being upset over it, don’t let it get to you. Everything happens for a reason.

    • May 27, 2010 at 11:11 pm

      Very true, M. Very true. Perhaps she was having difficulty unloading her offspring and needed a kick in the ass to get the job done. I just hope they don’t seek retribution for their mother’s death!

  3. pienbiscuits said,

    June 2, 2010 at 9:37 am

    Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it?

  4. edpilolla said,

    June 15, 2010 at 6:36 pm

    this is hysterical.
    i try to evict spiders via tupperware. but once a fat spider dropped down from the ceiling right in front of me while i was brushing my teeth. i was like, oh no. you are too bold to attempt to capture or live in my house. well, he heard me and ducked between the sink and wall and i couldn’t get him. never found him. as you say, fucker.
    here from iquitelikethat.

  5. June 18, 2010 at 9:12 am

    OMG just thinking of them gives me goosebumps!

  6. weaselgal said,

    July 1, 2010 at 8:27 pm

    I had to add my words to this, as I completely sympathize with your issue. I am pathologically terrified of the buggers. Even the image of one makes me flip out. You know the second Harry Potter movie, the part in the forest? I practically was in my mom’s lap in the theater and i screamed out loud. And the final installment of the Lord of the Rings, upon seeing Shelob, I just about fainted.
    Upon reading the description of the monster you found in your garden, I would’ve taken off shrieking. Though my cat found spiders rather tasty; I’d haul him out if one got in my room, and he’d quickly catch and eat the sucker.

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