} Step 1: Stand up

My ass hurts. And my knees hurt. I’ve sat here all bloody day, and done nothing but surf the weeeb. I do this every now and then. I just read and click and read and click, and read some more. Here and there, I leave my mark behind. I do it on average, once a month or so. Just sit here, surfing the web, reading things I’ll never remember. Laughing at jokes I won’t recall, educating myself on inane random shit.

I had intentions today. Good intentions.They all flew out the Window(s) with the push of that little glowing button on the side of my laptop. I had planned on baking batches and batches of cookies. I had planned on making a bunch of meat loaves, lasagna, chilis and such to go in the freezer. I had planned on heading outside to rake the yard.

And here I sat.

And now my ass hurts, because where I sat is a hard wooden chair. I couldn’t even get motivated enough to get comfortable.

I spent a lot of time on Amazon. And bought nothing. How appropriately unproductive.

I surfed David’s Bridal, for a dress for someone else, my daughter, whose not even here.

I learned how to write my name in Elvish, slightly productive as I now have a better image for my new tattoo.

I spent about 2 hours on Wikipedia clicking the Random Article link, where I learned about Bill Sheffield, governor of Alaska in the mid-80’s, Eric Truvillion who once played for the Tampa Bay Bandits, and Montina, which is a gluten-free flour made from rice-grass. And a plethora of other useless shit that will wake me up at three a.m. on the second Thursday of next week. The productivity of my clicking is only relative to those looking for related information.

I also spent some time in the Current Events portal, where I learned that Carlos Slim is the first non-American to make the Forbes’ list since 1994, Goodluck Jonathan is the current leader and acting President in Nigeria, and got the low-down on Fess Parker, who passed away yesterday.

Over at Homeberries, I scooped a new pattern for embroidery, I think I might make into a patch for a handbag, if I ever get off my ass and get productive.

I stopped by Facebook, (no links included HAH!) Β to see that my husband had sent me a message at 8:51am which was ohhhhh, hours ago, with a question he needed an answer to right then, but he couldn’t get through, because I was online, so he sent me a message which I didn’t get till hours later, because it didn’t occur to me to go socialize in the meeting place of all meeting places on the Internet.

And finally, I’m here, at WordPress blogging about my entirely unproductive day. I say “finally” as if I’m actually going to get off my ass in the next moment or two and find some motivation.



  1. timethief said,

    March 20, 2010 at 10:55 am

    You made me laugh. πŸ˜€ Girl you need to buy a gel pad for that chair. My husband bought me one and I haven’t had a sore ass since I began sitting on it. Unproductive day? Surfing the web produces blog fodder – you just demonstrated that. πŸ˜‰

    • March 20, 2010 at 1:55 pm

      Hehehe….this is true! I ended up with a blog post after it all.
      Want to know the sad thing? I have a really nice comfy leather desk chair behind me in the other room, but I sat at the dining room table the whole day! Maybe the dining room chairs could use gel pads *looks around*
      (yes, again, I’m sitting at the table instead of my desk)

  2. jollof said,

    March 21, 2010 at 7:36 am

    That was an amusing insight to your browsing trail. How many hours did you kill exactly? We’re all victims of this (especially when you have a damn good ISP/internet connection…and a comfy chair helps, I guess). There’s so much inspiration around for us bloggers. Its easy to slowly become alienated from your family and chores so please don’t get caught in the Web (silly pun, I know). Nice to see you learned something about Jonathan Goodluck too, lol. I enjoyed the post, thanks πŸ™‚

    • March 21, 2010 at 5:20 pm

      Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it! I killed approximately 9-1/2 hours….lol…and you’re absolutely right. I have spent the last two days catching up on business I should have taken care of on Friday!
      I thought about you while reading about Jonathan Goodluck, what’s your opinion on the man, if I may ask?

  3. webmistress said,

    March 21, 2010 at 10:40 pm

    I must say your FUNNY! and surely you could’nt have thought your day was entirely unproductive HA! yeah right look at all the things you found and learned about. Random sh*t can be most amazing and educational at times.

  4. pienbiscuits said,

    March 22, 2010 at 7:14 pm

    You found those things so I didn’t have to. I’d say that’s a day well spent!

    Show us your tattoo once you’ve had it done when you get a minute.

    • March 22, 2010 at 8:50 pm

      I’m glad you found it useful πŸ˜€
      I’ll certainly post it. The design is almost complete, so I hope to get it done soon.

  5. webmistress said,

    March 22, 2010 at 9:24 pm

    You’ve inspired me and many others to be ISO random stuff, never know what one will find and certainly dont know what could be learned from such…not to mention not even 1/2 through your post I was in stitches

    please type your name in elfish just for the hell of it lol

  6. jollof said,

    March 25, 2010 at 2:37 am

    sorry, for the late response. My opinion of Jonathan Goodluck is that, in comparison to the President whose gone AWOL, he is at least present and trying to take on some of the responsibilities one step at a time. I only wish he acted a bit quicker!

    • March 26, 2010 at 10:17 am

      Thanks for that…like most political situations, I’ve found conflicting opinions while surfing around. I did find it interesting to learn that Jonathan’s party alternates between Christian and Muslim leaders, and that their next candidate will be a Muslim, leaving Jonathan unable to run in the upcoming election. Is this a tradition adopted by the government of Nigeria, or is it just something within the individual party?

  7. jollof said,

    March 26, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    purely individual. Its just coincidental that most of our presidents have either been military, former military, from the north (where most muslims reisde) or muslims. Its one big conspiracy.

    • March 26, 2010 at 9:52 pm

      Its one big conspiracy.

      It’s always the way, huh? I think it’s pre-requisite sometimes.

  8. March 29, 2010 at 10:48 am

    You could almost have been describing days I’ve had ………………well planned but abandoned in favour (though I rarely remember actually deciding) of sitting staring at the screen and clicking now and then…………….

  9. October 22, 2010 at 3:38 pm

    […] my last unproductive day surfing the weeeb, my ass does not hurt yet. Today, I am smart enough to sit on my big comfy couch instead of the […]

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