Open the windows, it’s gonna get smokey in here…

I am, no doubt, one of the only women in the world who is eagerly looking forward to turning 40. I absolutely HATED turning 30, but 40 is just so full of potential. Remember when you were 14 and couldn’t wait to be 16? How’bout when you were 18 and couldn’t wait to be 21?

I’ve spent the last few months preparing to turn 40, like it’s some grand event, a life-defining moment, a moment I will remember for the rest of my life. My 40th birthday has been a topic of conversation lately, what sort of party will we have? Where to hold it, who to invite, how drunk will we get? I feel like I’m going to be a disappointment in that respect, because I’m not at all interested in a having a party to celebrate. Now, don’t get me wrong, I want to celebrate, just not in the universally expected manner. I don’t need a big party with streamers hanging from the ceiling, I just need a moment filled with experience.

Turning 40 feels like the moment I get to declare, “I’ve made it”. It’s proof to the world that I’m a success, I know who I am, I know what I am, I have the ways and means to live happily ever after. I’m an expert on life, and I know what I’m talking about.

It appears to some, that I’ve “settled”. This is just not the case. What I am is collected. Composed. All the pieces have fallen into place. People spend their lives searching for who they are, what makes them happy, most never figuring it out. My life plays out like a beautiful piece of music. You could play it in any key, on any instrument, yet still it settles the soul.

I am complacent. To some my smugness is distasteful. I’m left wondering if they’re just simply jealous and I hope to see them smug in the future.

One might say I have grandiose delusions, but I don’t see the problem. I know what I’ve achieved, I know what I’m capable of and I know the meaning of life. I feel that at 40, I’ve done all the figuring out, now comes the fun stuff.

And I can’t wait.

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8 Comments

  1. gigisanchez said,

    February 14, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    When is it?

  2. gigisanchez said,

    February 15, 2010 at 1:46 am

    You were just awarded a “Sunshine Award” from me. Go to my blog’s home page and you will see me talk about you in my comments. CONGRATULATIONS.

  3. gigisanchez said,

    February 15, 2010 at 2:04 am

    oops, this is your homework assignment:

    ■Put the logo on your blog.
    ■Pass the award to 12 bloggers.
    ■Link the nominees within your post.
    ■Let the nominees know they have received the award by commenting on their blogs.
    ■Share the admiration and link to the person from whom you received this award.

    🙂

  4. pienbiscuits said,

    February 16, 2010 at 8:09 pm

    I say happy birthday in advance of your 40th in June. You have a good attitude to it, which means it’s going to be a great one.

    Mine was in December a few years back. I had a party with a 70s theme and although it sounds trashy I was very impressed with the outfits people came up with. They were very stylish indeed. The party itself went extremely well. I didn’t drink much and I don’t think I ever finished a sentence because I was either moving from one person to another, or on the phone trying to direct from poor sap to my place which was difficult to find (there were no street names on this new development. It took five years and much misdirected post before the council got their act together. Can you believe that?). I definitely stepped over a threshold that year and although there continue to be difficulties, because that’s life, I’m definitely getting better at this living game and that makes me happy.

    • February 16, 2010 at 9:31 pm

      How does one possibly live without street names? Sounds like a big ole’ pot of confusion to me!
      Thanks for the birthday wishes….a 70’s party doesn’t sound trashy at all, it sounds like a blast, thank you for sharing! Were you comfortable with turning 40? I know so many women in my generation who are having the hardest time with it.

  5. Antonio said,

    February 18, 2010 at 10:58 am

    Great perspective on turning 40! I turn 40 in just a couple of months. I wish I could share a similar perspective as yourself about it. Shine on!


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