Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret.

Recent discussions have led me to think hard on why I blog. In the forums, there seems to be a lot of promoting of blogs, and sometimes even flaunting of them, by bloggers who feel what they write is more important then what others write.
I’ve surfed a lot of blogs in my day. I’ve seen them all, political, environmental, religious, sexual, tech related, how-to related, advertisement blogs, confrontational blogs, sensational blogs. Blogs that explore science, blogs that explore humanity, blogs that support disease, blogs that support frivolity. In the end, most of the blogs I’ve read over the years seem to have been written in an attempt to “discover”. More times then not, the writer writes in an attempt to discover something about themselves.
This reminds me about my journals and diaries of my childhood. Those books were written as a sense of explanation of events, to myself. I sat and wrote about the woes of life, the tribulations, the monotony, the excitement, but all in an attempt to discover what the purpose was of each event. Why did it happen? Who was a part of it happening? What did it, or would it achieve?
These days, I write for a completely different reason. These days, I’m confident that I have it all figured out. My life is good. Honestly good. There is very little confusion regarding the who, what, where, why and how of my life. It just is.
I’ve found that over the years, my tastes in blog reading has changed enormously. I prefer blogs about daily life, daily thoughts, but not in the sense of “this is what I did today”. I prefer blogs that allow me to discover something about the writer, something that was not intended. I would attribute it to my age, with the thought one might have that I prefer the writings of older, wiser types, but this is not the case. There are very many young writers out there who have a lot to say, and even though they appear to be on a road of discovery, they have it more figured out then they know. Those are the blogs I like to read.
I’ve written a journal since I could hold a pencil. My father used to give me an excercise book every month, with a prompt on the top line of each page. He would sit and write out questions and contemplations for me to use as a tool to discover who I was. He also of course, being the spiteful bastard that he was, would use those journals against me, but it never stopped me from writing.
Today, I write to turn my thoughts into tangible, animate objects. They become something I can hold, manipulate, express to others. This is not to say I’ve discovered all there is to discover about myself, that would be a travesty, and I’ve never been forty before, nor fifty, nor sixty, so how could I possibly know what THAT’S all about. It’s to say that I’m not on a road of discovery, I’m on a road of experience. I like to blog about those experiences, as I like to read about the experiences of others. I don’t expect others to be interested in my blogs, although I’ll admit, it’s nice when a perfect stranger comes along and contributes their experiences to my own.
Have you ever seen so many commas in a journal entry before? That’s enough pauses to fall asleep.

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6 Comments

  1. deanjbaker said,

    February 10, 2010 at 10:06 am

    different, and interesting to see

  2. jollof said,

    February 11, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    I’m glad I read this (saw it sitting in my gmail WordPress folder actually). Blogging, I believe for most people, is a way of getting your true inner voice out there…not necessarily for others to see or comment on. It’s just another way to release something thats been stuck in your brain, heart or soul. I think the people that enjoy it the most (people like you and I) enjoy Writing in the first instance. I’ve been writing stuff since high school: short poems, stories, a few songs (I dare release them on youtube) but I just feel this excitement when I start writing about my inner thoughts…can’t explain it. I say ‘to hell with the amount of commas! let them comm!’ 😀

    • February 11, 2010 at 6:09 pm

      Yes, as much as I like to read about other’s daily lives, it’s their interpretation of their lives that I like the most! I love the way you write, it’s beyond information, it’s your personal take on the situation. Your excitement shines in your posts!

  3. gigisanchez said,

    February 12, 2010 at 1:10 am

    Discovery is a real strong fuel for writing. I have written quite a bit with discovery in mind. Also found that there was a time in my life when I was trying to get to a ‘next step.’ So I’d write about something, and it was published, and it was either a cathartic experience or an experience of discovery I felt I had to get through, and then I’d ask myself, “What is my next step? I need to get closer to myself or further along or grounded in something deeper, and then an idea would bubble up and I would run with that. The one that stands out the most is the suicide of a very good friend that I had to process and it was inside of me. One day I was ready to write about it and it was as if some chains had broken that were binding me… and then I moved to the next step.

    I like your stuff 🙂

    • February 12, 2010 at 9:03 am

      Thanks! I like your stuff too! 🙂 Putting your own personal thoughts and emotions into your writing helps balance your perspective on life. It’s the teeter-tottering that I like to read in others, it fascinates me. Reading a journal entry, and watching values/morals/ethics/personality sway back and forth until finally the writer reaches a conclusion, or a new development in themselves. I see that in the stories I’ve read of yours.


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